This His & Her Review series is already rocking my world. I mean, the whole point of it is to come up with some girly thing my husband will hate, then swap that out for some macho-dude thing I’ll hate. On top of that, we both review said thing each week—one for and one against. I know, nuts, right?

And since I subjected him to the reality TV show, The Bachelor, last week (our reviews here), I had to watch an action movie this week. Somehow he decided Die Hard was the quintessential action movie, so that’s what we watched.

Die Hard, Die Hard, Die Hard—what can I say about Die Hard?

Well, I went into this movie-viewing experience kicking and screaming (almost literally). You see, I just hate action movies. HATE THEM!

Why? Well, anything that is cliché, derivative, or lacking in character development just prickles my skin. When has an action movie not ended with the hero saving the day? I mean, seriously, why do they call these things suspense if you know right from the get-go how it’s going to end?

Sigh.

Now I’ll be fair and acknowledge that the cliché predictable action movie plot points in Die Hard probably actually started with Die Hard. That is to say, much of what has come since has copied it. This is why I forgive JRR Tolkien as well (oh, shush, you all know very well how I feel about the fantasy genre).

Okay, onto my discussion of the movie.

It started really slowly—like were the first 20 minutes even necessary? Actually, the first hour and a half bored me to tears. I kept trying to fall asleep, but Falcon just wasn’t having that.

So I decided to pay attention to the things that interested me. You know, the stuff other than the plot.

First, there was the horrendous 80′s fashion. Most of the men looked okay, but the ladies! I mean, how did anyone ever think jumbo-perm is an attractive look? This both amused and puzzled me to no end.

Then we have Bruce Willis. Yeah, no thanks. He’s a heart throb? I mean, really! He has a nice body, but the whole receding hairline thing doesn’t really start my engine, know what I mean? I’ll give him this, though—he is a good actor, and that helps.

On the other side of this whole good versus evil deal, we have someone who is actually terribly attractive (please note that I have strange taste when it comes to the opposite sex)—Alan Rickman.

Ahhh, I loved you ever since I first saw you as the metatron in Dogma. Love Actually made me nuts for you, and Harry Potter? Oh, mama. You were incredible in Die Hard. You’re an extraordinary actor who played your part well, but even if you’d have sucked, I’d still be smitten. It’s that voice! OHHHHH. And then when you did an American accent toward the end? OMG, that was so cute! Keep up the good work, Alan Rickman.

Hmmm, what else can I talk about?

I thought the technology was funny. I’m sure it was really cool and cutting edge in the 80′s, but the high-tech computer system and the car phone, hehehehe.

I do understand why boys like this movie. It’s the technology mixed with the guns mixed with the concept of an unlikely hero who triumphs over the bad guy and wins the girl.

The message for girls was a little different, and as a feminist, I just have to point it out.

John McClane (totally just had to look that up on IMDB) and his wife—umm, Holly—are having marital issues largely because she’s a strong woman with a fantastic career. BUT STILL SHE NEEDED A MAN TO SAVE HER. I guess that’s nice and everything, but Die Hard really doesn’t do any favors to strong women the world over. What’s the most heroic thing Holly did? Asked if the pregnant lady could lie on a couch instead of sit on the floor. Oh, what a womanly thing to do.

Yeah, that just bugged me.

Now, I know I’ve been complaining a lot, but I actually really enjoyed the last 45 minutes of Die Hard. Why? It was because of Carl—I mean, Sgt. Al Powell.

When Bruce Willis is in the bathroom pulling glass out of his feet, the two have a very touching talk over their little handheld radio thingies. He recounts the story of a work mistake he’s made that has forever haunted his life, and then at the very end of the movie, he gets to move past that mistake (trying to avoid spoilers).

Sgt. Al Powell is a stand-up guy. He is the only one who will trust what Bruce Willis is reporting, even though his higher-ups are giving him crap for it. He believes in this mysterious renegade who he’s never met, and the two start to form a friendship.

I was really hoping for an epilogue to the movie where Al’s new baby gets to play with John McClane’s kids, because I really wanted the two of them to emerge as life-long friends.

So, that’s what I have to say about Die Hard.

* Did it kill me to watch it? No, it didn’t.

*Am I clamoring to watch the next however many movies in the franchise? No, I’m not.

* Am I glad I gave it a try? Sure, because it was something I got to do with my husband.

 

HIS & HER REVIEWS… IT’S A THING WE’RE DOING NOW!

Never have the differences between the sexes been so starkly highlighted as in the “His & Her Review” series. He loves Halo, while she thinks it’s a waste of time. She swoons for The Bachelor, but he wants to stab his eyes out. Follow husband-wife duo, Falcon & Emlyn, each Tuesday as they team up to review something that inevitably one will love and one will hate. Welcome to married life, folks.

• Follow Falcon’s posts at www.FalconStormBooks.com
• Follow Emlyn’s posts at www.EmlynChand.com

 

THAT’S WHAT HE SAID…

“For me an action movie is only as good as its villain, and Die Hard has one of the best… We also can’t have an 80′s action movie without heroes, otherwise Arnie would’ve never become a governor… Everyone wants to think, that in a hostage situation, they’d be like John McClane, shooting the bad guys while barefoot and saving the day… We like John, because he’s who we’d like to be.”

Read the rest of his post HERE.